Happiness, they say,
is inherent
to realization of true self
yet
here I lie, wallowing
lioness in a zoo
hard & horrible emplacement
where all I want is escape
but to where
in this never-ending cycle
Maya suffocates
all those not far enough
away from the madding crowd
w/ too many falsehoods
vexation
anguish
sufferation
failure to manifest the heart’s desire
versus
failure to accept what is
choice unhappiness
in one half of a dyad—false
missing the other—real
self
abandonment
no drinking from the cup,
joy
that runneth over
and why do so many choose
this
petty energy
strange conundrum in such
defeat
refusal to acknowledge
Love
dwells in narratives of loneliness
mythmaking
nonexistent event horizon
unauthorized to release
oneself from this hell:
self-detestation,
self-recrimination,
self-flagellation,
rejection
after
rejection
after
rejection,
loyalty to suffering
compulsive action
when, in fact, I can
choose my own destiny
rescue myself
recognize the truth in
ultimate lack of courage
to open my heart
towards unfamiliar realms of experience
in silence
deva station, power of freedom
through unknown unknowns
no more longing, fear, or desire
energy field of healing
liberation itself.
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